Day 55 -- Use What You Have

Today was my last double, heaven willing and the creek don't rise.

Sometimes, when you state an intention, the Universe seems to conspire against you. A bad night's sleep, hormonal craziness, a freezer with only one Vitamin Water left in it, a very full weekend ahead--let's just say that it wasn't the ideal day for a double. The Challenge ends next Wednesday, so in theory I could have put it off, but I didn't want to tempt Fate.

So I just did it. And now it's done. And I'm all caught up. Knock on wood.

My other doubles went better; maybe today it was all about the cumulative fatigue. Fortunately, I had two favorite teachers: Brook and Jeff. They got me through it, as did friends like Roxanne, Corinne, Philip, and Megan. And Eva! She rocked the 9am class today.

I loved something the ever-wise Brook said today. Every day, we bring what we have into the studio. It's not always what we wish we had; sometimes it's less than what we usually have. But when you use what you have, what you have gets stronger. And that's a comfort on a day when it felt like I didn't bring very much. No worries; just use what you have.

Day 26 -- Fatigue

Jeff told me early on in the challenge that fatigue would be a problem. I appreciated the heads-up, and I didn't doubt him. Twenty-six years ago, I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, so I am intimately acquainted with the cumulative effects of fatigue. And today, I definitely feel the truth of Jeff's statement.

Class was great. Y Thuan, like all the Bikram Pasadena teachers, is a pro. I enjoyed her gentle corrections and encouragement. I did my best. I can tell I'm making progress in several postures, and I was delighted after class when Val asked if she could profile me in her next newsletter. She took a photo of sweaty me squinting into the sun and doing Half Moon Pose, and then asked me a few questions about what brought me to Bikram. It was a nice shot in the arm.

After coming home, though, I haven't gotten myself to do much of anything other than give James some advice on his John Donne essay. Part of it is that I have a six-year-old home from school with a fever, and it's way nicer to cuddle with her while she watches the Disney Channel than it is to do anything on my chore list. Part of it is that this week has been very hectic schedule-wise. And I know that a lot of it is hormonal, so I'm trying just to go with it. My body is tired; I'm trying to give it what it demands.

I have to get up and get going, though. People will need dinner and clean clothes and encouragement on homework very soon. The down time has done me good; I'll find my second wind. And then I'll get up tomorrow and go to yoga all over again, fatigue or no fatigue.